SEX can bring incredible joy and enjoyment to a human being (person) - sexual pleasure, warmth, love, companionship, touch, children. However, SEX when not used the way God intended can result in horrors and immense tragedy - porno, addiction to porn, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, abuse, exploitation, paedophilia, incest, pornography, prostitution, rape, sexual disease, AIDS, death.
Well, What does the BIBLE say about SEX ?
GOD CREATED SEX
Genesis Chapter 1 and 2
God stated after he created Adam that it was not good for man to be alone. So from the rib bone of Adam he created Eve. I'm sure Eve was very pleasing to Adam and Adam likewise to Eve. Genesis 2 v 24 sets the framework / standard straight away for relationships between men and women.
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Sex enables husbands and wives to produce offspring within a loving relationship. God has made men and women's personalities, features and bodies attractive to one another. God could have made the act of intercourse to be either painful and uncomfortable or an act with absolutely no sensation. Instead, God in his kindness, chose to create men and women with sexual organs that during sexual stimulation create immense pleasure for their owners. Many fail to appreciate this fact. Sex is a special gift from God. We don't have to spend hours in the gym to make our nerve endings work properly. God's has create our bodies with erogenous areas.
GOD IS A GOD OF LOVE and WISDOM
Genesis 1:1
As Sex is a gift from God maybe it's wise to seek the instructions from the Giver of the gift. Maybe even God's recommendations on the use of Sex should be read, listened to and obeyed. Any deviation from God's original plan for sex between a married man and woman is a sin in God's eyes.
The Bible teaches that premarital sex (sex prior to marriage, commonly called fornication) is forbidden.
Fornication is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between unmarried persons. Adultery is also forbidden and is defined as the sexual unfaithfulness of a husband or a wife. Where do these instructions appear in the Bible?
BIBLE VERSES ABOUT SEX
FORNICATION
The RSV Translation uses the word fornication in two verses.
Matthew 15:v 19 - RSV
"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander."
Mark 7: v 21 - RSV
"For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness,"
WORKS OF THE FLESH
Galations 5:v 19
"Now the works of the flesh are plain: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, etc, etc."
ADULTERY and IMMORALITY
Matthew 5: v 27-29
Jesus said
"You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.'
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
1 Corinthians 6: v12-20
(12) "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is
permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything.
(13) "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"--but God will destroy them
both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord
for the body.
(14) By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also.
(15) Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then
take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
(16) Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in
body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." [See Genesis 2: v24]
(17) But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
(18) Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body,
but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
(19) Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you,
whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
(20) you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your body.
Matthew 19: v 5 - 6 - RSV
Jesus said
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one?
"So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder."
Society through Films, Television, Radio, Magazines, Music, Friends and some "educational" Organisations push hard to convince us that there is nothing wrong with Premarital and Extramarital sex as long as it's Safe and no one gets Hurt. IT THIS REALLY TRUE!! Sadly, there are some serious problems associated with premarital and extramarital sex:
PROBLEMS THAT RESULT FROM IGNORING GOD'S RECOMMENDATIONS ON SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS.
It is inevitable that sexual related sins lead to other sins. If you don't think this is true. Just think for one minute about President Clinton & Miss Lewinsky and his deceitful behaviour to hide the truth, or read about King David ( in 2 Samuel 11 ) when he murdered Uriah the Hittite, the husband of Bathsheba. David's extramarital affair with Bathsheba meant that she had became pregnant to David the King. Or on a personal level just think about the number of lies that you may have told to cover a past sexual sin.
Deceit / Dishonesty
Lying to someone to get them into bed is not honourable. (Eg. I love you, If you really love me you'll do this, I can't live without you, This is a sign of my love, etc, etc.)
Lying to protect a past sexual act (s), your present marital status, where you were last night, etc is damaging to your personal integrity.
Deceiving someone into thinking they are the one and only person when they are NOT, is not honourable.
Deliberately intoxicating a person to allow you to have your way with them is not showing love or respect for them.
Lust
Treating women or men as sex objects rather than individuals with personalities, feelings and emotions is soul destroying..
Lust is a sin and can become an unhealthy obsession for many men.
Guilt
Guilt occurs when we realise we have done something truly wrong. Sometimes I wonder as sexual sin continues whether the pangs of Guilt diminish. I've heard some people argue with no embarrassment that extramarital sex has improved their marriage. I question whether their conscience has gone into remission and guilt has dissolved.
Hurting Others
Entering into a very intimate sexual act with another person when it has little or no lasting value for you is not honourable. The old saying: "It's okay as long as no one gets hurt" is a particularly dishonest. The reality is, is that many after sinful sex feel used and hurt. Even the very promiscuous can develop a hardness which isn't positive. What should remain as something very special between a loving husband and wife becomes passe' and meaningless. Many promiscuous people may in fact find it very difficult to establish a positive long term stable relationship. Why? Their previous experiences have never been long term. Children Men and women with children who leave their spouses for someone younger, wealthier, sexier, smarter create pain and heartbreak for the children they leave behind.
Hurting Yourself
Developing a sex seeking lifestyle may:
(1). Distort your life. Sex may become a pre-occupation instead of a minor part of your life.
(2). Make it difficult for you or the other party to establish a long term healthy marriage. Larger issues such as loyalty and commitment don't enter the equation now so why would these issues suddenly become important when Mr or Miss Right comes along. Marriage involves hard work and good and bad times.
Public Health Issues Sexual Disease
The promise of 100% safe sex with condoms is not true. Condoms break or are simply not used. Genital Herpes and other diseases infecting the genital area may still pass from one partner to the next through skin contact around the genitals or oral sex. Sexual Health clinics are well supported by those seeking help in Australia and it's probably similar in the States.
Unwanted Pregnancies
In 2003 there were about 1.3 million abortions in the USA, in Australia there were about 80,000 abortions. In the USA approximately 52% of abortions were by women under the age of 25. These are frightening statistics. How many of these could have been prevented through abstinence and true respect from a boyfriend or girlfriend? Many women are forced into a decision about abortion with few options available. The irresponsible young man who has had his fun and is directly responsible for this situation may have moved on to someone else. How many women will carry the emotional scares resulting from these abortions for years to come? One pre or extramarital sexual sin may now result in a second sin. ie. The death of an innocent embryo who is given no choice.
The Bible's teaching on Sex maybe isn't so silly after all !
THE POSITIVES RESULTING BY OBEYING GOD'S INSTRUCTIONS ON SEX & RELATIONSHIPS.
Firstly, put SEX in it's correct place
1) Sex is a physical sensation. The sexual orgasmic peak for a man is lucky to last 15 seconds. For a woman I believe it's longer period. There are other pleasurable physical sensations apart from sex. A cold refreshing drink after a hot day of work in the sun, Aerobics at the Gym, Jogging in the park, Swimming in a refreshing stream, Riding a Horse, Hiking through a canyon, Walking on the beach, Skiing a freshly groomed snowfield, Climbing a mountain, etc etc.
2) Enjoy the company of the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with spending time with attractive men and sexy women. You can enjoy their company at the movies, restaurants, theatre, beach, mountains, etc without having to have Sex. You can in fact love a person dearly without having to have sex with them. Sexual activity can be postponed until you really find the man or women for you.
3) If we remain faithful to Jesus and are accepted into Heaven the joys and excitement of heaven will far outweigh any short-term thrill we may get from the sexual pleasure with another person. Therefore, let's put Sex in its rightful place.
Obeying God is satisfying
Jesus says: "If you love me you will keep my commandments." Obeying God in all areas of your life (including sex) does bring peace, joy and satisfaction.
Living free from Sexual Guilt
This is a fantastic thing. We can walk the street knowing we are sexually pure, free from sexual guilt and deceit.
If a lady who has remained a virgin, marries, she knows in her heart she can stand at the marriage altar with integrity in a beautiful white dress that means something to her and her husband.
Being master of your Body is satisfying
John Piper's words can't be put better, so they are quoted directly:
"The moral and emotional thrill of being master over your own impulses is like reaching a snow-swept mountain peak against all the odds of ice and wind. The greatest pleasures in life do not come from giving in to bodily functions that we share with animals. The greatest pleasures in life come by rising to that moral, personal, spiritual conformity with our Creator, in whose image we were made "
("A Godward Life" by John Piper-page 163-Multnomah Publishers Inc, Post Office Box 1720, Sisters, Oregon, 97759.)
WHAT DO I DO WITH MY STRONG SEXUAL DRIVE?
Yes, you may have a strong sexual drive. You may be single. You may be widowed. You may be divorced The answer is:
(1) Don't put yourself in a position where the Devil will tempt you to indulge in Sexual Sin. Stay away from that person who may lead you into sexual sin. ( Read Joseph's reaction to sexual temptation by Potiphars wife in Genesis 39: v 6-12. She pestered him day after day. But He said: No. He didn't stop and think it's only a bit of fun. It may benefit me. He ran out of the house.). Flee from sexual immorality.
If you presently are involved in an extramarital relationship. Stop It! Get out of it! Tell them you want nothing more to do with them and you want to re-commit yourself to your marriage.
If you have a problem with Pornography. Then don't walk into that part of the Newsagent or go into the Adult Bookshop or don't visit that Internet Site. Stay away!!.
(2) Re-direct your sexual drive to a positive outcome. Use all this energy to serve your fellow man instead of pleasing yourself. Throw yourself into Community activities: Car washes, Charities, Church Fundraising, Musical Societies, Amateur Acting Groups. Sporting Clubs, Helping the less fortunate, Raise money for hospitals, Visit the aged, etc, etc.
A WORD FOR THOSE WHO HAVE SINNED SEXUALLY
Very Good News
(1) Admit to God you have sinned.
(2) Seek Forgiveness from God. Pray sincerely to Him admitting you've sinned and that you require forgiveness.
(3) Resolve in your mind to change you life. Pray and read your Bible daily.
(4) Seek the counsel and support of trusted Christians who will commit themselves to help you.
(5) If you are still involved with that person. You must make a clean break. It is no good maintaining a relationship that you know in your heart will simply pull you back into sexual sin. Be rude to the person if necessary so they understand its finished.
(6) If you sexually Sin again. Don't give up. Satan will try hard to pull you backwards. Repent and ask Jesus for forgiveness and strength. With Jesus you can win the battle.
(7) Forgive those that have hurt you in the past. Move on with Jesus Christ. Christ is the judge. He will right the wrongs on Judgement Day. You can't change the past. Move forward with Jesus.
